A surprising turn of events...

So its Friday tomorrow. Weeeoooww!

On that note of being slightly more upbeat than usual, does anyone else have anything they do on Friday and only Friday? I always wear a black/charcoal grey shirt to work on a Friday. Why you may ask? Well! Call me crazy, but i associate black with being a colour that you wear only socially, not professionally. So therefore as a small rebellion (To only myself i know..) i always try and wear that colour shirt on a Friday! So much logic there its undeniable i know.

I feel a bit ranted out this week. Do feel like im moaning about well... Everything. So today i don’t feel the need to release the tension by moaning about something! How wonderful. Therefore i will talk about something i have not mentioned at all yet...

Cars!

I love cars and driving. I know, this may come as a bit of a surprise given the fact im writing a slightly geeky rant-based blog. You see when i was younger i had a lot of friends that were mad about cars and i kind of got drawn in. When we all passed our driving tests it all became a sort of hobby. We used to go to cruises, mess about with modifications and all that jazz. When we got older we bought faster and faster cars and it was a lot of fun. I now drive a 2005 Honda Civic Type-R and i love it. Had it for about 2 years now and its just wonderful to drive. You never want to stop driving it! I haven’t done anything to it, its all still standard. I may add some cool air induction for a nice increase in noise and slight increase in power. We’ll see!

Well there’s something i bet you weren’t guessing about me? Hmm? Its ok, im full of surprises.

That’s all for today. What a nice and pleasant blog it was today. How lovely.

Over and out.

Smokers. Ugh.

This is something ive been wanting to rant about for some time...

I really do hate smokers. I mean not only do i think they are stupid, ignorant, self centred people intent on paying money to kill themselves, i also hate the fact they force others to take part in their own brand of “self harm”.

When you walk past someone in the street smoking, why do they feel the need to blow it in your face EVERY TIME!? What’s that all about? Can’t you keep it to yourself? Do you not realise it makes my eyes burn feels like i have just inhaled a vial of poison?

Please, if you really must die young with a body full of tar, don’t subject me to your pastime please. I hate it. In fact i hate it so much i would make it illegal. Ok i realise im starting to sound a bit like Stalin or something, but i feel so strongly about this one. Find another hobby! Drink coffee or eat cake or something. At least it tastes nice!?

Also something else i’ve been meaning to get off my chest for a while... Why is there this generalisation that all men are bastards? They all cheat, they are all uncaring and unforgiving knuckleheads. Well, im sorry, but all the girls i have ever been close to have let me down and been very unforgiving. I know that some people are bad and some people are good... But i don’t like the generalisation that men don’t care etc... I care (Although i realise that may be hard to accept after reading my Blog... It’s the truth though!), although maybe i shouldn’t seeing as i haven’t been out with a girl for about 9 months. Why do girls always seem to like guys that are bastards? Is it because it gives them the thrill of living on the edge!? Who knows... I certainly don’t!

Im not sure if you can tell or not... But i miss the girl i was meant to be with, a lot. It’s pretty obvious i guess! Oooh the blog has a more serious approach tonight. Not sure if i like that or not... Bit too personal! But i do just want to tell her i miss her, everyday. Even though she will never ever read this...

I will post something more positive tomorrow! Tomorrow is Thursday, and Thursday evening means Friday the following day and that’s always good...!

Over and out.

A bout of man-flu...

So my illness has gotten worse... And when i say illness i actually mean a slight degree of what could be deemed ‘man-flu’. Now im not really sure of the exact definition of this mysterious ailment is, however im going to go with ‘Making it out to be more than it is’.

Now, i have a sore throat, this isn’t the end of the world it’s just annoying, so it could be a type of man-flu.. It may not be, but damn im whining about it a lot so i guess that makes it more so. Why do they call it man-flu anyway? Women make far more deal of illness than men in my experience. I mean jesus how many times do they go to the doctor? At least 5-6 times a year.  I don’t think ive been 5-6 times in my lifetime, and i’ve never been to the hospital.

Also, on this topic, why do men always have to make out like they’re dying before its acceptable to have a day off work? Women phone up and go ‘Women’s problems, sorry can’t come in’, your boss will always say ‘Oh of course, no problem take as long as you need’. WHATS THAT ALL ABOUT? If i phoned up and said ‘Oh sorry i can’t come in i have man problems’ i would get mocked and laughed at for days and days to jesting such as ‘Alex has crabs!’ or ‘Alex has a wart!’ etc...

Being a man is hard ladies, give us some love.

So does anyone know what’s good for a sore throat? I have no other symptoms and its pissing me off, i can hardly swallow. How TIRESOME! See, we never whine about being ill... *cough*.

Anyway, moving on. So i did pick up Starcraft 2 today, and as predicted it is indeed all kinds of awesome. Although the gameplay is somewhat predictable and certainly hasn’t changed much since 1998 when the original came out, the presentation shows how far Blizzard has moved forward. Everything from the box with beautiful artwork to the smooth title screens and wonderful quirks that Blizzard love putting in games. It’s wonderful! My favourite part is going around the ship talking to the crew, brilliant interplay between the characters.

I know i said this a few times, but definitely go and pick it up its worth every penny. Have a good Wednesday!

Over and out.

Rantday is back!

So its Monday again, and that means its Rantday!

Why are Mondays so rubbish? Not only do you feel rubbish but things tend to just end up being rubbish. So yeah i had a pretty awful day at work which has made me feel a bit shit really. Oh well, i won’t bring that onto my Blog! Im also not feeling that well, which is why i have been slacking a bit recently on the posts. Lacking a bit of energy!

I hope you all liked the London updates we did, it was a really funny day and i don’t think i’ve laughed so much in a long time. So thanks to Jams for the day, was one to remember!

Anyway, onto Rantday. I can’t really rant about the happenings of the day because I’ve done that before, and recently. These things seem to happen regularly to me... I wonder if it’s something to do with me... No! Surely not!

One thing that happened in London which i found to be rather amusing was that during the trip back, me and Jams happily minding our own business when suddenly over the loudspeaker the driver stated the following;

“If there are any Metropolitan Police on the train, please report to the drivers cabin in the middle of the train. I repeat, If there are any Metropolitan Police on the train, please report to the drivers cabin in the middle of the train!!”

Now, call me pessimistic, but that doesn’t exactly install confidence in the passengers of the train does it? I mean, it’s not like he needs the policeman for serious dance related instruction is it? It cant of been that serious because nothing happened after that. To be honest i was half expecting someone to shout Jihad or something down the train and for it to be redirected to heaven in the name of Islamic fundamentalism.

Staying on the topic of loudspeakers. Why do they always sound so depressed? “Approaching London Waterloo *snort*, get off here, if you can be arsed. Whatever. I don’t care, i hate my life and I’m going to subject you all to my misery”. I’m not asking you to sound like someone who actually cares, but at least don’t give us the impression you would rather jump under the train than drive the bloody thing!

Anyway, Starcraft 2 tomorrow! I forgot to pre-order mine so im going to have to pick it up tomorrow, looks like its going to be good!

Over and out.

London, a recap!

Apologies for not writing yesterday on the Blog, got back from London quite late so didn’t really have the time to write anything.

I see Jams has unleashed one of many rants that we noted on our trip to London yesterday, i shall provide more of a recap of the activities we undertook instead!

We started off catching an early train and as promised filled this time thinking up non-London related rants to note in the rant book, and as Jams has described it literally pulsates with venom!

As you can see, the amount of rants were copious in nature and would later include a number of topics from around London... Of which Jams has already started talking about. Damn crowds!

Upon our arrival in London we first did what any normal men would do and went to the pub. Upon enjoying several beverages and a steak sarnie, we preceded to wonder down to a geek-fest shop called Forbidden Plant. It was certainly an experience and one that i must say i rather enjoyed, although one thing i did find concerning were people shopping there with baskets!? I mean how many geeky items do you need? Do you require a trolley sir/maddam?

We then made our way to Westminster, PURELY to take these lovely pictures. Especially the one of me looking disgusted with our political system, and therefore feeling the need to write a rant while Jams photographs me.

We then walked along the South bank towards Tate Modern. Now i will leave the subject of Tate Modern to Jams, as we both made just a couple of rants regarding the ‘Modern Art’ we both witness within the famous walls. I think you may guess what we shall discuss by looking at these pictures;

After leaving Tate Modern we then went to Covent Garden and wondered around a bit before checking out a certain famed Japanese restaurant. It was certainly worth the trip, great find Jams!

Then home, and a tiring, hot, people filled day it had been. As Jams has already said we may have enough rants from that one trip to last well into next year... From inside Tate Modern... Thanks for reading!

Over and out.

Londinium

So, we took some time off work to visit London yesterday. This was a necessary thing because:

a) it sucks to be a public servant at the moment
- It is a fun thing to be short staffed, underpaid and shat upon by everyone who isn't a public servant. Actually, technically speaking the people instigating the paycuts/job losses etc are public servants too, so I guess that should be changed to just being shat upon by everyone.

b) neither of us had left a ten mile radius of Bournemouth in months
-well I certainly hadn't. Well, other than that trip to Portsmouth last week. For work. You know what I did there? Worked. Not what you might call a refreshing change of pace, though they did provide some mighty fine sandwiches, apparently the last they could ever provide due to...*dramatic pause*...budget cuts...fun!

c) both of us needed to not be at work (see a and b)
- a slow build-up of tension in the office as a result of being dumped on repeatedly was leading to the sharp increase in the likelihood of a rage blackout for Alex. I'm not saying he is an angry guy, but he did start a blog for the express purpose of being angry, which might indicate that he might be somewhat irritated.

Not that I can say much, we spent the four hours of train travel making entries in the newly purchased 'Book of Rants', which I'm sure Alex will talk about in more detail later (the pages now seem to pulsate with venom).

Anywho London was a rollercoaster ride of raucous hilarity and bitter resentment. We had a great time in all but let's just say some material for future content was provided gratis.

As a start - crowds

London is a busy place, I understand this. Ten million inhabitants and as many tourists is going to place some strain on the breathing space. Right. Fine. I get it.

But a peculiar phenomenon associated with crowds in London is the singleminded purpose of its constituent members.

On any given major street there are thousands of people in a limited amount of space, headed in a dozen different directions, all focused on some distant goal. A goal so incredibly important, so necessary for their existence that small things like cars, children, other people and, on one particularly impressive occasion, a roasted chestnut seller complete with wheeled transport, play second fiddle to its successful attainment.

To make matters worse it is not simply a question of mass, if there were just a lot of people in motion it wouldn't be so difficult, you would just maintain a steady pace and go with the flow.

No. They stop. They admire the view. They look in shop windows. They take in the air.

And, in order to suitably do the above, they feel the need to stop directly in front of you.

Again I am not so without understanding that I can't recognise why someone might do this. London has a myriad of attractions and architecture which would be worth detailed examination.

What I take exception to is the complete lack of spatial awareness which can lead a supposedly sentient human being to come to a full stop, on a crowded street with people packed like sardines around them, and not even bother to a) move out of the thoroughfare or b) look to see if such a sudden implementation of the brakes might result in the person behind you being pinioned on your umbrella.

What it boils down to is at best a lack experience in such a mass of humanity and at worse plain rudeness.

Things are not helped by some elements of said crowd, especially nearer the grand constructs of Westminster and St Paul's, swinging cameras. I'm not even going to get started on this. Suffice to say, you hit me with your camera whilst you swung it about in an area with about a square foot of empty space. How is any resulting contact my fault exactly?

Could go on about this more...might well do that later...

Hey, he said he wanted content.

Trousers!

Afternoon all!

Apologies for not writing something yesterday. I was absorbed in several activities that drew my attention away from this wonderful output of information that i provide.

So, i had the day off from work today which usually means my appetite for ranting is somewhat diminished and i am far more relaxed.  I spent most of the morning trying to find a new suit for work. I did eventually come across one that fit me, and after some deliberation took the plunge. However i must point out, why don’t shops keep more sizes in stock?

I mean, i went to the first shop and the two suits i like both didn’t have any trousers in my size. The lady comes back and says “There are none here, at our warehouse, locally or anywhere in the South for that matter”. Well thanks for the information love, because damn if you said there was a pair available in Exeter i would have gladly driven down there to get them. Idiot. Oh a rant! Hello there.

In other news i have also bought a notebook to note all my rant topics in. I often think of something i want to write about then promptly forget about it. Which is very annoying. I am off to London tomorrow with Jams, and the plan is during the train journey to fill the book with topics. How exciting!

Turning to gaming news, has anyone seen this trailer for Starcraft 2? It looks bloody awesome! I really must get my pre-order sorted.

 

Anyway, have a great Friday and i shall return tomorrow with news of the London trip and maybe a few pictures. If i can find somewhere to host them.

Over and out.  

Get a real job Defranco!

So, Jams finally made it to the blog. It’s certainly going to be an interesting few weeks ahead! So i hope you all (!) welcome him and read what he has to say, as im sure it will be humours in nature. You never know, if he actually gets his ass in gear and buys a video camera he might even post some video blogs! Although i wouldn’t count on it..

No rants today im afraid (I can hear the tears and general weeping from here), however i wanted to draw your attention to my favourite ‘vlogger’ (i really hate that word...).

His name is Philip Defranco. He posts something about 4 times a week on YouTube, and it’s almost always witty and topical. Make sure you check it out! Here are two of my favourite and recent videos of his;

 



 Very funny i feel, but also thought provoking! Especially the second one :)

That’s all for today! Those videos should keep you busy for a while, i shall return tomorrow with more ranting and general wit.

Over and out.

On blogging...

A few weeks ago Alex persuaded me to write a few things for Tedium. He said he had a blog, a blog of rants and a range of other 'things' yet to be decided upon. To be honest, there weren't many specifics. Only the fact that it would be 'awesome'.

He sat, his eyes aglow with inner rage, as he invisioned his future net-bound skirmishes. There was gesturing. Talk of unknown 'bastards' soon to be drowned in words of fury...

I wanted in, said that it was about damn time too.

Anywho, I'll be helping out a bit with some rants of my own and maybe some more general posts concerning 'things you should be giving a crap about' (the title's a work in progress).

It'll be a thing, I'm sure.

Hi! Im better than you!

Tell you something that really does piss me off, when people think that just because you’re young, you’re automatically stupid. I get that so much in my job where you try and talk to someone older than you, but they just talk down to you and treat you like shit even though you’re a colleague or the person in question is a client. I mean it’s not hard to show a bit of respect is it? I did my Alevels, i went to University, I’m just as knowledgeable as you and therefore deserve the same level of respect as anyone else.

That brings me onto another rant topic. Don’t you just HATE people who think they are better than you because they have something you don’t? Hey check out my new penis extension, it’s got heated leather seats and climate control. I call it a BMW. Do you want a ride in it you PEON?

Morons.

Also, just to round things off today i have another rant topic to cover. Does anyone else regularly visit Costa? Why is their reward scheme SO SHIT? Hey you, have this card, after you buy 56 coffee’s we’ll give you a free one! How awesome is that! Like EVERY other place is buy 9 get 1 free. You may ask, ‘But Alex, you choose to go there! So shut the hell up!’. Well, aside from telling you you’re a smartass, i would say that i go there for the banter. I can also walk in and say ‘usual please’ and they know what i mean! How awesome is that.

Its Monday. I hereby name this day. RANTDAY!

Over and out.

Sundays

So it’s the end of another week and back to work tomorrow for me. Funny how the weekends always drift past before you’ve even realised?

I don’t know about anyone else, but i always feel very humble on Sundays, always end up thinking about things that you don’t always want to think about! Oh well, im off to London on Friday for a day out with a friend of mine. Very much looking forward to it! Although we haven’t really decided what we’re going to do!

One thing i realised tonight which annoys me alot, is people who DONT like Top Gear! How can you not find that program stunning entertainment! Watching those three lark about in various hilarious situations makes my week complete. The motor home one that was on tonight was brilliant. Watching Jeremy larking around in what was essentially a house on wheels had me in stitches.

On another positive note i discovered a new band today, A Perfect Circle. They have the same vocalist as Tool, who is a genius. A much more relaxed style but very interesting nonetheless. Certainly worth checking it out if you’re into that kind of thing. If you’re not, check out Should’ve Known by Cosmic Gate. Fantastic trance tune!

Over and out.

Eating, burping and Startcraft 2?

Why do people eat low fat food? How does that increase your life enjoyment... This topic really bugs me. I like eating and i like cooking yet i cannot comprehend why people choose to eat tasteless food that is supposed to do you good. What is the point of going through life eating cracker bread and fruit? Does it make you feel happy? Satisfied? No it doesn’t.

I agree that people should be healthy if they can, but doing that is so much more than just eating tasteless crap. Eat what you want, as long as you don’t eat 10 double chocolate muffins a day it’s not going to kill you. The trick is just to do enough physical exercise to ensure that you don’t become unhealthy.  Not only will you feel happy from eating nice food, but you’ll also feel better after exercising! Damn i should start charging for this top notch advice. (Ok i admit its ranting...).

On a totally different topic, has anyone else pre-ordered Starcraft 2? How long has Blizzard been working on this game... Like 10 years? Who knows, but im certainly looking forward to playing it. I never really got into the first one all that much; i used to play it on LAN with my friends when i was young. Those were the days!

Anyway, it looks like its going to be quite a game. So if you like RTS then i would go ahead and pre-order it right away!

I have a question to leave you with. Is it normal that i cannot burp? Like, literally never burped in my whole life. I feel left out :(

Not a rant in sight! Well... Almost.

I decided not to rant today, sometimes you don’t feel the need too!

Having just returned from quite possibly the best Thai food i have ever tasted, i feel strangely reflective on things. Yes the food was good, especially the dumplings! However for some reason it has made me feel very... Empty.

My question i guess, to anyone reading this, do you feel empty? I feel empty because im missing someone who meant alot to me, and is no longer part of my life. Sometimes when you miss someone like that, it can be a difficult to thing to get over. I, for one, am finding this to be an exact truth.

How strange! I shall have to post something funny now in order to redress the balance. I have a website recommendation to make. Are you in need of a laugh? Don’t mind slightly racist and offensive jokes? Head on over too http://www.sickipedia.org/ ! A website full of what i consider to be very funny humour. Warning though, it’s not for everyone!

Finally, does anyone else not think its slightly hilarious that Apple has had to admit the design of the Iphone 4 was a total cock up and is now offering everyone a free case. What about the poor sods who already bought cases to oh i don’t know... Make their phones useable!? Apple must think people are mugs. Personally i think anyone who buys an Iphone must be a moron.

I love my 3GS.

Leggings etc...

My next rant topic, yes you guessed it, female fashion!

I do not understand, nor care really why leggings have suddenly become so popular. Sure, girls with great figures look great, i mean as a man, who doesn’t like girls wearing skin tight clothing? Everyone is a winner as far as im concerned.

However..

If you are a lady not blessed with a figure that makes men stare at you constantly, may i ask that you refrain from wearing such items? Many a time i have been out and about and found myself walking behind a female who is following the fashion of the day. Unfortunately, she just does not have the figure to pull it off, and instead of watching a great looking girl flaunting herself in front of me, i am forced to watch what appears to be two tree trunks made of jelly wobble their way to whatever destination the owner desires.

So please ladies, wear clothing appropriate for your figure. I’m not someone who has a figure like Peter Andre, therefore i refrain from wearing such items as vests and tank tops, common sense surely?

I realise this may be a rant which some find offensive. Trust me, im just trying to help! If you would like further fashion tips, do not hesitate to contact me.

In other news, my new music finally arrived and may i say, it is indeed awesome. Tool – Undertow may well be their best album. If you like that sort of thing, be sure to check it out.

Over and out.

Twilight ...

Seriously, what is this crap ACTUALLY about? I mean, i can’t judge too much.. Since i haven’t actually watched the films, read the books or well had any interest in it at all.. But im still going to rant about it based on what i know!

As far as i can tell, some strange white looking kid, which for some reason every girl under the age of 25 is in love with, is crazy about some woman. There’s werewolves, vampires and... some sort of love triangle? Im sorry what? When i was younger, what did vampires do? Oh right they killed people, and then we watched divine retribution being wrought on them by characters such as Blade (Awesome movies btw, check them out!).

Really girls, its not cool or smart to be in love with a vampire. I mean, especially the guy who looks like he forgot to ask the nurse to stop taking blood out of his body when making a donation. I am an open book though, if you can explain to me why this series is so awesome that everyone must watch it right now, im all ears.

On a more positive note, you will have seen that i worked out how to embed Youtube videos into my blog posts. Yes, it wasn’t actually that technical..

Some further good news is that a friend of mine will shortly be making contributions to my blog. He will provide awesome insight into his views on politics. As well as making epic movie / series recommendations. He will also put my English skills to shame, so do not mock me more than is required thank you. 

Over and Out.

My First Rant...

Well this feels strangely liberating! My first rant... Lets make it a good one hm?

Old people.

Ok now, i love old people, they're fantastic and my Grandfather is one of the most amazing people i know. But one thing really annoys me about they're activities... Why must they go about them DURING RUSH HOUR? Now, i leave for work quite early, and seemingly every morning i get stuck behind someone doing 22mph where overtaking is impossible. Surprise surprise its some old biddy going to collect her pension or whatever, at 7:30 in the morning..

Why do they do it? Why? Are they THAT bored? If i was in charge i would ban anyone over the age of 65 leaving the house before 9:30am. After that, go nuts.

Anyway, on a more positive note i should be receiving the two latest additions to my music collection tomorrow. These being Tool – Undertow and System of a Down – Toxicity.

Now before you judge me as being another one of these iritating emotionally crippled youths who dabbles in “Death Metal”, think again! I love all types of music, as long as its GOOD music. Metal, Rock, Trance, RnB etc etc.. I do love Metal more, mainly because its what i loved growing up.

If you take anything away from reading this blog, if infact anyone does read it... Spend 9 minutes of your life and go and listen to Tool – Lateralus. No matter what music you like, what you love. Give it a listen, its magical. Here i will even link it for you;

I have yet to find out how to embed YouTube videos in here, im not even sure you can? I shall try and find out.

Over and out.

Hello and Welcome!

First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Alex, as you may have gathered... This is my first venture into the world of blogging and therefore you may have to bear with me while i get the hang of it.

I want to start off by telling you all why i wanted to start writing a blog. The main reasons are that i feel the need to rant. Excessively. Now i realise this may not be something new to those who blog, so therefore i will attempt to hold your interest with my comedic abilities as well as a whole host of other things. Making a fool of myself perhaps being number one on this list.

As well as ranting endlessly, i hope to give light relief on a number of topics of which you are welcome to suggest. I will also endeavour to provide you all with funny links, my current favourite music as well as film, game and book recommendations. I am a keen gamer as well as a lover of old British sitcoms (Red Dwarf, Blackadder, etc). Lets face it, who doesn’t like Blackadder..!

I shall try and post something everyday, although i cannot make any promises. My need to rant may be interrupted for brief periods of unsustainable happiness for which i apologise in advance.

Now you may ask, why did i name my blog in such a way? Well! A superb question you have put to me indeed. I was originally going to call it ‘More tea Vicar?’, however this may have led to certain negative ramifications so i therefore decided on this name instead. It felt... Positive. Very shocking.

Last of all, for this starting post, a little more information about me i think is required. Im in my mid twenties, i have a full time job for which i suspect many of my rants will be based upon... And will therefore leave the detail of this job for later posts, much to your excitement i suspect. Anything else? Hmm, i will attempt to fill out this profile thing when i have some spare time perhaps thats a better way forward.

Over and out.